I um did it again
by insaneandproud
Summary: What if our heroes accidentally got sent back to the original mission and Carter got thrown in the cell too?
1. Chapter 1

**ok i know this isn't really the best idea i ever had but its been something i thought about alot please let me know what you think :)**

I... um... did it again...

Chapter 1

I think the people up-stairs hate me. I really do. I know… it sounds ridiculous coming from a Colonel in the United States Air force but there is no other way to explain why these 'accidents' keep happening to me, and only me… I mean it's not like I'm a bad person. Sure I kill people for a job and find ways of continuously putting my planet at risk but it's not like I mean to do it. I mean I really do try to find ways of staying out of trouble… it's just… trouble seems to like finding me, which really isn't fair seeing as there are 6.5 billion people on earth and some of them deserve this shit, much more then I do. Ok I'm blabbering but hey, that's who I am.

Anyway moving swiftly on…

I sort of got myself thrown into a jail cell after getting in a fight with a Jaffa – well the guy deserved that right hook. Sure you're thinking, what's new? Well having the younger versions of Jack O'Neill, Charles Kowalski and everyone else in it… is.

You know the only reason I'm in here at all is because I refused to be some pimp to the child-like-fake-tanned-sad-excuse-of-an-alien Ra. Well would you like to get up close and personal to that? Didn't think so... I mean come on he's young enough to be my nephew… it just wrong on so many levels.

I also think I have a concussion, fuck I hurt. I know that Jaffa broke my wrist, and a few ribs… I just hope they don't pierce my lungs… crap. Anyway back to them…

I have no idea what the hell crawled up their asses and died but what ever it was I hope it hurt like hell. The cold water is not helping my mood, or apparently the ass that has the nerve to call himself sir… I swear he lays in to me one more time I'm gonna let him have it. I'd quite happily give him a broken wrist for the way he's been talking about me… I don't give a shit if he thinks I'm a native, which is even worse in my opinion, there's no excuse for it… and he knows it.

The group of guys sharing this watery cell with me have no idea who I am but believe me they will before long if they don't shut up.

"What the hell did it do to get in here with us? I mean they don't seem a fighting people… they seem to either run and hide or roll over and play dead. I'd ask but they can't even speak English. Where the hell is that geek when you need him?" Asked Kowalski

"Dunno but where ever he is I hope he's in pain..." Answered Ferretti

"Any idea how to get out of here?" asked another

"Could ask that..." Commented Freddie before everyone explodes with laughter.

I've had enough. I wish I could just kick they're butts and show them what happens when you're rude to allies, but unfortunately my wrist won't let me. I'm getting in a worse mood, the itchy head scarf is annoying me and all the stress is starting to give me a headache. I want a nice hot bubble bath when I get home. And a nice bottle of chardonnay… bliss.

Suddenly the noises from above interrupt us and I peer up just in time to see the lid to cell be pulled up and Daniel to stick his head through the gap. The cheeky smile plastered across his face definitely earns him the nickname of Space monkey. I must admit it's a blessing to see his face so happy with everything that's happen these past years. I can't imagine how they found me... I'm sure they'll tell me though.

"Hey Sam… thought it'd be a nice change if we rescued you this time." joked the amused man above.

"Funny, took your damned time about it didn't you. I'm ashamed at you boys. I can do it in half the time." I quip back, my own smile threatening to break. Suddenly a splash erupts from the side of me and I twist round to see the bemusing sight of my CO drenched from head to toe. I'd never admit it out loud but he looks incredibly fine with his black army regulation t-shirt sticking to his torso and his salt and pepper hair all wet and sticking up all over the place.

"Well miss smart-ass, not all us humans can be as mind-boggling smart as you. However since we weren't the ones to be dragged kicking and screaming into a wet and dingy hole, I'd be a little nicer to your rescuers hmmm?"

"Uh huh… and how many times have you done that?" I ask teasingly.

"Ouch Carter… I thought you loved me?" His crazy sense of humour makes me laugh especially when it comes to his age and health. "And to think, I've just put my ass on the line for you."

"But it was worth it."

"What? Getting insulted?" The teasing between us has gotten to stupid levels since I broke off my engagement. And to tell the truth I'm glad its back. I hadn't realised how much I'd missed it. "Alright smart ass lets get you out of here before I freeze to death."

"Manage flyboy?" I reply giggling

"Now Colonel, you know the rules: no giggling!" mock-sternness in his voice.

"Yes sir! Sorry sir!" I salute back and then yelp at the splitting pain that threatens to send me to unconsciousness. I had forgotten about the bones. The General catches me before I fall into the water. The pain over whelms me and I nearly pass out.

"Crap! Carter, why the hell didn't you tell me you were injured?" he growls.

"What the hell is going on down there?" asked a worried Daniel.

"I broke some ribs and my wrist when I was taken by the Jaffa. Forgot about them, I'm alright, help me get this head thingy off." I answer.

He slowly and carefully removes my headscarf and drops it in the water. Mindful of the persistent throbbing at my temples, I shake my head to remove the pieces of hair stuck to my neck and forehead. I slowly turn around as Jack slowly moves a piece of hair off my cheek… my skin instantly burns where his callous finger brushes against it. His eyes blacken with desire for a split second before he clamps down on it and we both snap out of our moment.

That's when I notice their faces, which are an absolute picture. _'Damn I wish I had my phone on me. I'd store that picture on there for all time'_. Every single one of them, including O'Neill, has their mouths wide open and eyes bulging. I don't think that was what they were expecting… oh well.

"Uh she's blonde."

'_No shit, Sherlock'_.

"Are they're native blondes on this planet?" asked a confused Ferretti.

"Not that I'm aware of but when I find out I'll let you know." I answer sarcastically. God Sir's been too much of an influence on me… Sir just smirks in pride… damn him.

"Funny" is the reply back. Sarcasm seems to be the language of choice at the moment.

"I know it's a gift… must come with all the near death experiences that have plagued my life…"

"And how many is that exactly?" asks an irritated younger O'Neill.

"Not as many as you but since we met I'm starting to catch up."

"We've met?"

"Uh yeah… Cheyenne Mountain… the big base underneath it… I work there too. I corrected you're inability to seek out the head scientist in the lab."

Sir looks at me in surprise and asks "I did?"

"Yes sir… it was a long time ago. I didn't expect you to remember that"

"Damn Carter…" he starts

"Don't worry about it… I find it funny"

"That was you. How the hell did you get here? You're a scientist not a soldier!" exclaimed the younger man in front of us

"Actually… I'm both."

Daniel breaks the moment. "Jack we're running out of time."

"Indeed O'Neill, time is of the essence. We are at great risk if we stay here unnecessarily." Added Teal'c

I'm trying to remove my clothes but fail miserably while the guys are discussing the escape plan. The threat of hypothermia is too great to keep them on. I can't stop the shivering that racks my body now that the shock has set in. Sir understands my frustration and leans in to help me. He's yelling instructions above him but I can't seem to make sense of what he's saying, he helps removes the soaking material. It's only the native outer clothing but the weight of the material off my chest actually helps with the pain. He's looking at my wrist and ribs. He doesn't need a doctor to know that they're bad.

"Carter any of your ribs near you're lungs?"

"I'm not sure."

He sighs "Crap… We need to get you through the gate."

"No sir. That flare isn't for another four days, we leave before then and we'll end up god-knows-where. The fluctuations in spaces atmosphere affect the wormholes interstellar travel. If there is no effect on the stability of the event horizon then the actual wormhole may inadvertently send us to another time space continuum."

"Carter this is me… English please."

"We can't go through the Stargate yet." I reply as bluntly as a can.

"Then what do we do? Put you in Ra's sarcophagus?"

"That's not a bad idea."

"Suicide is not a strong suit of yours Carter."

"No that's yours." I'm not sure why I said that. I'm getting tired and snappy.

"Funny… have you guys found a way to get us out?" yelled jack changing the subject. I'm glad that's not something I really want to go into.

"Indeed I have O'Neill. Hold on."

"Did T just say hold on?" asks sir, currently holding me to his chest gently. Purely for the sharing of body heat purposes only. 'Yeah keep telling yourself that, maybe you'll start believing it'. Jacks eyes are swimming with humour and disbelief. The only thing I can say is a muffled noise that even I can't understand.

Suddenly the floor is moving and everyone but Jack looks around questioningly. I peer up, "First mission. Jaffa got us out this way." I can only nod as the other men start looking at us for answers. I start coughing and the last thing I remember before everything goes black is the taste of blood in my mouth and my friends calling my name.

What the hell?

Where am I?

Who's that against my back? What's going on?

It's too dark, I can't see.

I know that whispered voice. I know that hand holding mine. I know that face buried in hair breathing on my neck.

I'm safe.

Darkness


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Whispering… I can hear it. Like wasps buzzing in my ear, driving me insane.

"What the hell are they doing?" asked voice number 1.

"Sleeping I think." Answered voice number two.

"Looks a little friendly to me, ain't right." Commented voice number three. "What's her name?"

"That geek Jackson… the older one… was talking to that big dude, the one with the tattoo, about a Sam. From what I've pieced together which the discussion earlier I think she's a colonel… I guessed it was her because they commenting on her ribs." replied the first voice which started to sound like Kowalski.

"Damn a Colonel. Never saw that coming." Commented the second voice again, which sounded definitely like Ferretti.

"He's her CO then… looking at that it makes me wonder how she got the position."

"You don't honestly think that she slept her way to the top do you? With him for a CO… come on not likely."

"I got a question if she's a colonel how is he her CO then?" asked O'Neill.

"Dunno. Maybe it's just this one mission or something. Or maybe there's a reason for it… she was sprouting some weird shit earlier." Said Kowalski

"She's a damn scientist..." answered O'Neill. I smile something's never change.

"You've gotta be kidding me? She's blonde for Christ sake… there's no way she can be both… can she?" asked Ferretti.

Ugh… men.

"I can… and I am. Oh and by the way the colour of my hair does not define the stupidity of a person, their mouth does. " I answer from my position on the floor.

"Oh, you're awake."

"No, actually I'm asleep. This is just a figment of your imagination... Of course I'm awake, kinda hard to sleep with the talking going on." I reply sarcastically.

"Not a morning person I take it?"

"Not really… but he's worse." I comment pointing to the younger O'Neill. "You know its true… we have to poke him with a stick nowadays." I argue before turning to the others.

"Listen that's sir to you Lt…" starts O'Neill Junior.

"And that's Colonel to you flyboy." I reply.

I smile as Daniel walks in carrying a cup with his twin smirking. The junior version is gawking at me as if I grew another head. I graciously accept the cup of water he hands to me as he jokes.

"Oh, round one to Sam."

I start to giggle but then gasp at the splitting pain in my ribs. I seriously keep forgetting about them. Daniel notices but keeps quiet he knows there's nothing that can be done about it and it would only cause an argument. He looks at Jack and shakes his head in concern.

"He's out of it today. I don't think I've ever seen him like this in all the years I've known him." He says quietly as not to wake him up.

"He's exhausted Daniel, we all are. This year has been long and hard, and not to mention never ending. He's had it worse really… new job, schedule, responsibilities… he just isn't used to sacrificing his fishing this much."

"You mean he's not used to growing up."

"Yeah in a way… He can't be as carefree as he used to be. And to be honest it isn't fair on him. He got stuck into this raw deal of being general because he was cornered."

"Cornered… yeah I can see what you mean. He didn't really get a choice did he? This whole situation was just thrown at him and he accepted the offer because there was too much at stake to say no." Daniel looks kinda angry. He feels that we were all forced into these new positions because of outside influences – Kinsey mainly and the damned new governing bodies. "Leave him be then. He deserves it. And besides I wouldn't risk waking him for the world!"

He has a strong point there.

"Ok… hey you don't usually have to do it… I do. Both you and Teal'c are wimps when it comes to waking him up!" I argue half-heartedly.

"True but you're his second in command… it's like… your job."

"Oh you are so dead the moment I can move Space monkey..."

"Space monkey?" asks Ferretti.

"Don't ask." We answer at the same time earning us disbelieving looks at the same time.

O'Neill Jr looks a little pissed at the sheer casualness of the conversation. I suppose it reasonable. After all they are stuck on another planet several billion light years from home with no way back and are witnessing two people discussing life as if the situation is one of everyday occurrence. Thinking about it, this is normal for us lot. "Hey! Why don't you two pause for breath and explain to me who the hell you are and what you're all doing here?"

"I already told you who I was, it up to you to remember…" I argue. That is until a voice interrupts me mid flow. Shit I didn't mean to wake him up.

"Carter… you know purple is really not your colour. So breathe ok?" He turns to Daniel and continues. "Where's Teal'c?"

"Patrolling… We had to stay here while the sandstorm was up but give it till daybreak and we should be able to return to the city." He answered.

"Seeing as you know this planet better then all of us… how long?"

"No more then two hours tops. The journey in the dark isn't the problem, it's the cold. The animals here can't survive in it for long and besides you never know when a storm is gonna hit."

"Carter what time can we leave?" He asks me. The tone all business as the group of men across the room listen intently.

"According to the time magnification and relative difference between here and Earth's time, it's not for another three days but without the specific equipment and knowledge of the interstellar drift of this planets orbit over the previous years. I won't know if the calculations made up by the SGC computer mainframe will be correct… they could be subsequently different, maybe even wrong. The theoretical chance of us returning to our Earth is insignificant to the relative amount that could inadvertly cause a complete fold in stability and our destination in and through the wormhole." I babble incoherently.

"So the time would be...?" he repeats.

"Three days." I answer. Sometimes I wonder why I talk science to him. I know he's just gonna either cut me off or blank me out until I've finished. But then he does look really cute when he's confused. Not that I'd ever admit to anyone… except Janet. God I miss her.

"Ok." He answers clapping his hands enthusiastically and pulls me out of my ravine. I can see him storing the information in a box in his head. It's quite amusing when he does small things like that. They always seem to cheer me up on some strange level.

My chest is starting to hurt again and I'm finding it hard to breathe. But there's no point worrying him he's got enough on his plate… with Mr sour-face over there and his band of nit-wits… not too mention a sun god and getting home. I just hope that bloody rib doesn't pierce my lung otherwise I'm fucked good and proper. Well if I gonna leave the air force I might as well do it in fashion. I've lost my hand, I know it for certain. I can't even feel it now.

I lie down as the conversation of who-are-you and what-are-you-doing-here starts up again. Please dear god let Daniel do the talking. We all know what kind of a mouth sir has. My eyelids are heavy and I realise that I've been jabbed with morphine.

"Thank you." I whisper to the man slowly stroking my hair as he listens to the argument. Out of the corner of my eye I see Teal's enter the room with his famous eyebrow lifted above his eye and looking sternly at the room full of people. I have to thank him one day; he pretends that he doesn't see anything when it comes to sir and me. I just wish Daniel would do the same.

"You're welcome. Don't hide things from me. I always know when something's going on with you." He whispers back as I succumb to unconsciousness.

Light… it's surrounding me… suffocating me. I can't escape… HELP! It's too bright, I can't see, hear, and breathe… HELP!

Breathe – in and out – try to make sense of the situation.

Huh? Ribs… wrist… oh… I'm in a sarcophagus. Duh… ok I'm patronising myself, never good.

Oh it's opening…

'Bang'

'Rat-a-tat-tat'

'Bang'

'Zat'

'Rat-a-tat-tat'

'Zat'

'Zip'

'Bang'

Why is it that whenever someone is in a sarcophagus there's World War 3 going on outside it? It's ridiculous… ok I need to find cover until I know where everyone else is. It's weird that whenever you climb out of one of these things, it strangely has never felt like crawling out of your own grave. I know that sounds strange but someone described what it felt to them the first time it happened and it never felt like that to me. Am I weird? Oh don't go there…

I found one of those awful over-the-top-decorated pillars to hide behind and (I'm not sure if this is luck or not) ran straight into Jack Jr.

Great.

"Where's the rest of my team?" I yell over the noise of the fire fight. I steal his 9mm out of his leg strap and start shooting the Jaffa heading towards us.

"Over there." He nods in the direction of the power consol. I start laying cover for them as he continues, "They're gonna get themselves killed."

"Not with me watching them, they won't." I mutter back. "Look sir's signalling to retreat, let's go."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I have no idea how the hell we got out of that. But I have a feeling Ska'ra and the other kids had something to do with it. All I remember is a blur of bright lights, masses of people and something thrown on top of me. A fairly common occurrence now… I kinda of happens all the time now. Daniel yelled something about some old ruins in the desert and we were off through the deserts. I have now idea. I must admit it helps to have a guy who knows his way around this place and knowledge of the dangers. The greeting of warm fires and cold water was the best homecoming in a long time. I just don't understand why they risked taking me to Ra's ship. It doesn't make any sense.

Oh look Jack Jr is heading this way… got a feeling it isn't a social call. He'll probably blame me for the Jaffa nearly killing me.

"Why did your team risk their lives and that of my men to keep you alive?" he asks in a cold and demanding voice

"I don't know… why don't you ask them. I have no idea as to what's going on." I answer in a cool and snippy reply.

"Listen, I'm not playing Simon says ok. I just want to get my men back home."

"What about you? Or Daniel for that matter? Don't think I haven't noticed his absence."

"We'll get him… and then he can find a way home… but you guys already know a way… tell me."

"No. I have no right to change the past… and besides I want to see your teams face when Daniel tells them about your secret mission."

And with that I stand up and walk away. I need to talk to my team ASAP about finding Daniel.

After finally find the guys teaching the locals how to make moonshine (don't even get me started) we discussed the prospect of fixing the damage. As you can tell we haven't come to a complete... ok we're not even close to deciding what to do...

"Sir we have to do something. We've already altered the mission and the past." I argue trying my best to win the damn argument.

"Carter, it's not our problem. We have other things to worry about… besides the other… I wouldn't let anything happen to him." Not his smartest retort to date... does he even remember what he was like during this... mission?

"I know you wouldn't but no offence sir… you've changed a lot since then. You care about things now… back then… not so much. I'm just worried that they're not gonna go back for him. They blame him for getting stuck here. Just remember what you were like. You weren't exactly the nicest man on the planet."

"Gee thanks, remind me of what you just said when I write my personnel reviews at the end of the year."

"Sir, you know you were supposed to stay in that cell until the confrontation with Ra. Don't look at me like that. I read the reports remember."

"Yeah, yeah I know… the 'practically memorised' line was enough for me Carter."

"I'm just saying…"

"Carter it's alright I know. We have to fix it."

"Right"

"And how do you suppose we do that?"

"I have no idea"

"Oh"

"Yeah"

We don't really have uncomfortable silences, we just have this look and 'poof' its sorted. The look is just something thats just popped up over the years, its always been our thing, an ability to communicate without words, its something I've never had with anyone else. In a way our whole team has it which brings us all closer together and is so totally cool. God how much of a dork did i just sound like? But its true its helped us become the really close friends we are. I can take one look at these guys and I know that they know what I'm saying. You know what I mean?

Right now no-one knows what do. Daniels playing with his glasses (a nervous habit of his when he's trying to figure something out) and Teal'c is linking calmly at the night sky. It's quite weird how he manages to make himself at home wherever he goes. I guess it comes from all those years under the thumb of Apophis. Poor guy, he misses his son alot. I guess all of us has had to give up alot for the program.

"Carter..." Sir's voice breaks the comfortable quiet that has enveloped the group and causes all of us to stare at him questioningly.

"Sir?" I answer, curiosity lacing the simple word.

"You're gonna wanna shot me..."

I simply look at him, one eyebrow raised in question and my eyes asking the question Daniel's dying to voice.

"...But I have an Idea..."


	4. Chapter 4

**_hey sorry its been such a while since i updated but i think i have writers block on this story... if anyone has any ideas or whats me to put something in just let me know... thanks guys!_**

**Chapter 4**

Ok so everyone had finally stopped bitching at each other and disappeared an hour ago, either to sleep, patrol or do-something-other-than-annoy-me. Something I am unbelievably grateful for because it's given me a chance to try and fix this (really, really, really, really, really) bad situation. So far; I've got nothing except to try and play out history the same… but also different… ah crap we are soooooo screwed. My professor from college would have killed me if he was here to witness the absolute cock-up I've made of this… and then he would have brought me back to explain what I did wrong in a 10,000 word assignment to a lecture room of top-notch professionals. He was mean like that, don't get me wrong he was a fantastic tutor, just slightly missing any sense of normalcy, he was my favourite lecturer. But enough of that now… I must think and work out how to get us back, the original boys, save Daniel and make sure we haven't screwed the timeline up… oh yeah and before I forget… kill Ra. Sick bastard. So its sounds like a normal day at the office for me then…

I've completely gone off the topic haven't I? Opps…

To give Sir some credit his idea isn't really that bad, a little more insane than some of our previous game plans (which in itself says a lot really) but still all in all, it might actually work. Boy did I just say that? I've either lost my mind completely or Sir has gotten smarter in the past couple of hours. Ok that was joke he's actually pretty smart for someone who gets easily entertained by a yo-yo, I mean every now and then he'll slip come really smart comment into the conversation. Half time I don't even notice till hours later and by then it's too late to call him on it – feigning ignorance is probably a really clever thing to do. Especially for our line of work and especially when dealing with diplomats like Kinsey… I swear he does it because he thinks it's funny, rather than being strategically clever in diplomacy.

Ok I really have to stop rambling to myself I lose track of what I was previously doing… ah the plan. Ok the only way this is going to work is if I can get the others to work with us, without trying to kill us in the process. I swear one more snippy comment out of mr-moody-pants and I'm gonna give him something to moan at me about. Although I'm pretty sure Daniel's been watching me like a hawk to make sure I don't do it. I feel for him at the moment I really do. It must be so hard to watch the younger him and Shar'ai's romance blossom, especially since he knows exactly what will happen to them. That and the whole thing must bring back the memories of a time when he actually felt like he belonged somewhere. He's never actually said it to me but deep down I know that no matter how much he relies, needs and loves us a family, we're never going to be a place he feels he belongs. His ability to run off to other galaxies and levels of existence has kinda shown that to me, don't get me wrong I don't feel hurt by it because I know that deep down it's the same for all of us, it's the reason we work so well together, we've all lost that place somewhere down the road. Daniel was obviously from the death of Shar'ai; Teal'c was when his father was killed and he joined Apophis; Sir was when he lost his son and me? Well I've never really belonged anywhere… I suppose I lost any connection I have to people when my mum never came home.

Sir seems to think that if we can somehow keep the chain of events similar we might be able to mend some of what we've screwed up. To be honest it makes sense, try and make the ending similar and how much can we fuck it up (that was rhetorical I'm well aware how bad this can go) we just have to get the guys arrested and lined up in front of Ra so that Daniel can (attempt) to shoot them. If we can do that then hopefully everything will then happen the way it's suppose to… if not well then we're screwed. It may sound simple but we all know that it won't be, and involving the Abydonians isn't something we really wanna do, we're aware of what will happen to them in retaliation. I dread to think what they'll do if this goes… awry.

Teal'c and Sir ran off to go do recon and find out exactly what we need to do to get them back… Daniel had the brilliant idea of getting us all caught again, or the others at least, which isn't bad thinking for a civilian. I giggle at that thought earning me a few odd looks from some of the locals. Opps… it seems we've had a bit of an influence on him over the years. I swear he knows more military tactics than half of our cadets, which is impressive. I was thinking on Daniel's idea, maybe have them attempt to rescue the other Daniel as the cover for getting them caught… or at least something along those lines.

Damn its gonna be a long day tomorrow…

* * *

**_so... what you think? too much... not enough... let me know _**


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